So, like MJ said, “I’m Back”. But, truthfully, I never really left in the first place. Well, at least I don’t think so. I came across my site randomly a few weeks ago when I was browsing through a few posts that I did for my Masters degree in Journalism from 2016-2018. I was really shocked by what I saw; 10 posts that I had written up to publish were sitting there collecting virtual dust. Initially, I was shocked, not because I didn’t publish anything ( I’m chalking that one up to my anxiety), but because I had so many posts written down and ready to go for the world to see.
For as long as I could remember, writing has been something that has made me feel “human”. As a kid, my imagination was something else (ask my parents). It always took me to a world that I was able to create for myself. When I got older and had to do creative writing assignments, I always did well on them because they were up my alley; I could just be myself and immerse myself in my own thoughts and my own world. Poetry and short stories were my favourites. To me, they really provided an outlet for all the thoughts that I needed to get out.
However, once I got to Lehigh, all of that stopped. My new focus was strictly basketball and psychology, two of my other loves. I told myself that something had to give, and unfortunately it was writing. But, I had to write something down. I needed an outlet from all the stressors. So, I kept a personal journal, which helped me A LOT throughout that time.
It kept me somewhat sane, which I’m grateful for. Then, after I graduated in 2015, I took another hiatus. Frankly, shit got real and I did not want to write at all. I couldn’t face myself and my thoughts. Fighting my anxiety and depression was a battle in itself and that took every last ounce of strength that I had. I’ve overcome my depression (another story for another day), but I still deal anxiety on the daily. And that’s why I haven’t posted in so long.
Anxiety is a bitch. But, I do the work daily to make sure that I can go through every day with a clear enough mind and spirit. If I’m being honest, anxiety is what has led me back to writing again. So even though it’s annoying dealing with it, I’m grateful that I’m back. Definitely for good this time too.
Bare with me as I’m getting back into the swing of things. My writing will probably be a bit sloppy, but know it’s coming from a good place. I’m excited to share my thoughts and experiences with everyone. These years have been something, as I’m sure they have been for you too. And I want to talk to you about it. I also want YOU to talk to me because I know it’s not easy. 2020 itself has been something out of a movie for us all. COVID has done so much to the world. It’s shed light on a lot for everyone. But we’ll get through it all, together.
Peace and blessings.
CB
Conroy's Cosy Corner 