Making Darkness Your Ally

I’m not in the best space. There’s a lot of darkness surrounding me at the moment; life wants to swallow me whole, but I’m not going to let it.

Don’t be alarmed. It isn’t a cry for help; I just needed to let it out. When there are constant negative voices in your head, it’s challenging for positive thoughts to get through.

But typing out the words life wants to swallow me whole, but I’m not going to let it further reaffirms that I can push through it. I am tired, though.

Confronting Darkness

I came across a quote this morning from author Kia Marlene that said:

“Sometimes, we must let the darkness do its magic.”

I felt that.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced moments where life is hitting us from every angle, and there’s no way out. You feel boxed in, wondering if all you’re doing is worth it.

If you’ve faced depression or extreme sadness, it can get really dark. And here is where it gets challenging.

You can’t see anything. Efforts from others may have been in vain. You’re consistently blaming yourself even though you’re putting in the work. So how do you stop the darkness from overwhelming you? That shit is challenging.

But darkness isn’t sinister all the time.

I liken it to the Batman, specifically the Dark Knight movies (Top 10 for me). When I first moved to Ireland in 2016, we didn’t have Wifi for about a month, so all I could do was watch movies on my computer. So I would watch Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and The Dark Knight Rises all day.

The initial adjustment was rough since I moved across the world, and some other problems were brewing at the time. But I tapped into the messages from those movies to push through.

Using the Darkness

I always go back and forth about which is better between The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. But I think I connect more with The Dark Knight Rises.

After Batman had his situationship with the Joker in The Dark Knight, he was looking for a way out. Being a hero was becoming exhausting because it felt like he was gaining nothing, despite putting in so much effort.

Also, the Joker was constantly taunting and beckoning him to kill. Batman already worked in the shadows and was a vigilante, so why not take the next step and embrace the darkness altogether?

But when Bane arrived as the villain in The Dark Knight Rises, he put those morals to the test. He broke Batman (literally) and left him to rot in the darkness forever. His back was against the wall, and he had two choices:

• Succumb to the darkness
• Find a way out

So he used the darkness. He tapped into the fact the only way he could go was up. Sometimes we don’t know what’s in us until we have no choice. Rock bottom was his current reality, and he had to change his mental and physical approach to defeat Bane.

I know I sound like a nerd right now, but I want you to take a minute to think about how many times your back has been against the wall. What did you do? You pushed through. You decided to find some motivating factor to help you figure that shit out.

It was dark, but you used that darkness, those negative voices, to propel you forward. You embraced it for a second to help you get focused. Re-evaluation was essential to helping you find a glimmer of hope, a reason for why the mental, physical, and emotional stress was worth it.

Was it easy? Hell no. Will it be easy in the future? Definitely not. But quitting is easier, and that’s something you can’t afford to do.

Give Yourself Some Credit

I’m going to remind you to give yourself some credit. You’re working your ass off. And I’m passing on the reminder because my girlfriend and my guy Donnie have told me in recent days to be proud of my accomplishments thus far.

The negative voices are trying me; I won’t lie. But with the reassurance of those around me, I need to make sure that I continue to give myself props for what I’m doing. So, do the same for yourself.

Even if nothing is inherently wrong at the moment, be proud of what you’re doing and who you’re becoming. We’re all putting in that work.

But if you haven’t taken those steps yet, be proud of the fact that you’re having thoughts of change. It may seem insignificant, but that small step is all you need to get started.

Let the darkness work its magic and bring you towards the light. Trust YOUR process.

Truthfully, I don’t know if this post was for me or all of you. I felt compelled to open my laptop and write. Hopefully, this post changes someone’s day. Either way, we’ll continue to get through it all together.

Peace and blessings.

CB