Empty Cup/My Cup Runneth Over

I’m not sure when I last wrote, but I try not to stress about it. Although I may not blog as frequently anymore, I do try to write in my journal often, which has brought me great peace.

In my last post, I boasted about the power of God and how he shaped and molded me throughout a challenging time. And for that, I give him thanks. There is so much to be grateful to God for over the last few months, and I want to share how gracious and good he has been to me.

April 2025

April was a tiring month, and to be honest, I don’t remember much about it because I was focused on seeing my family. I try to get home for Easter because it’s around my dad’s birthday, and I love celebrating Easter Sunday with the family.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it work for many reasons. Or rather, God had more for me to do before I could rest. Instead, I was able to coach in Valencia for a week, which is always an amazing experience. It was the same academy I coached during the previous summer, so I knew what to expect. My guys, Raul and Seth, were there, which made the experience more enjoyable. It’s always good seeing them because we talk about life and basketball. Throughout that week and from those conversations, I left Valencia feeling a burning passion in me to do more.

I had many conversations with God about my purpose and if I’m still supposed to be in Ireland doing what I love, which is coaching and uplifting my players and students. There was also a bug in me that knew I was going to play as well, so I used that week to enjoy L’Alqueria, the beautiful facility that has eight full-sized basketball courts. It’s the dream for any player or coach. No matter how many times I’ve been, it still amazes me.

So as always, I sought God through prayer, fasting, and writing. On the flight back from Valencia to Ireland, I used that entire time writing a letter to God on my phone. I got everything out–my questions, fears, anxieties about what’s to come in the future. I felt a certain peace afterwards because he told me to be at peace.

“When there is a multitude of worries within me, Your comfort delights my soul” – Psalm 94:19

As human beings, we tend to worry about a lot. But when you’re actively living out something and then all of these questions about what you’re doing come to the forefront, it’s easy to make a rash decision and change it. That’s why praying to God for wisdom and discernment is key. Without it, you could mess your life up.

So after I landed back in Dublin, that was my focus. I asked God for the wisdom and discernment to navigate the spiritual warfare that was upon me. The answer he gave me was straight from the Bible again. He dropped two verses in me, and they are now etched into my soul, which is why I continue to praise God so much:

“My brothers (and sisters) consider it pure joy when you fall into diverse temptations, knowing that the trying of your faith develops patience. But let patience perfect its work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing – James 1:2-4

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness” – Matthew 6:22-23

These verses wrung my spirit out in such a way. The conviction was real. I had to stop playing with God and moving around in disobedience. And that can come in many forms, but for me, it was purpose-based. Rather than lamenting fatigue, what are the other issues causing me to feel this way? God and I spoke a lot (as we always do), but he was trying to open my eyes to what was to come the following month.

May 2025

As I moved into May, my fatigue was reaching a new level, which is why part of the title is “Empty Cup.” The nature of my job and purpose is to pour into other people constantly, and it’s a privilege to have that problem. Many people in this world don’t get to do what they love for a living. Thankfully, that’s not me, and I’m immensely grateful to God for that.

However, I am still human, so I’m allowed to be tired within that purpose. On top of coaching throughout the school year, I also coached a college and club team while doing Box Out Academy workouts. So burnout was real. There was no break, per se. From last September to March of this year, I coached 60-plus games, which meant at least over 100 practices. Then throw in basketball camps and you could imagine why my fatigue was odee.

However, I didn’t complain. I asked God to help me navigate this season of fatigue because there was still a lot more to do. I had a finish line in sight, June 14th. That’s when I was going home, and I’m so grateful that God blessed me with the funds to be able to buy the ticket outright (even though it was with bum ass Delta, but we move lol.)

I had to push through May, and I’d be fine. And when I thought it was going to be chill, he said I got more for you to do. But when I look back at it, I asked him for the opportunity to continue diving into this purpose.

In early May, I was contacted by Emer Howard, one of, if not the best, basketball coaches in Ireland, in my opinion. She lost her voice and asked me to fill in for a few weeks with House of Rising Hoopers, an endeavor with her sister Maeve Coleman, another great basketball coach. It’s aimed at increasing the skill level of Irish basketball players. It also provides opportunities for them to play in AAU tournaments, which is incredible.

Initially, I said no because I was tired. Traveling on the bus and train was getting to me, and the only thing I wanted to do was rest. Gormanston, where the sessions were based, is a trek from my apartment because it’s on the outskirts of Dublin. But then she asked again about a week and a half later. Before I answered, I talked to God about it because of my fatigue levels, and he said, “Go.” And so I did.

Shoutout to Google Maps because I was able to take 2 trains there and then walk for 15 mins to get me there on time. And God would bless me with lifts home from different parents, which I was grateful for. Over those four weeks, from mid-May to my departure in June, I coached my ass off with the little energy I had. It wasn’t my strength, though; it was God’s.

And sure enough, because of my obedience to him and my commitment to my craft, Emer asked me if I’d like to join HRH on their AAU tour in July. I immediately said yes because it was a full-circle moment for me, being an AAU kid myself. It also gave me an extra week at home, even though I wouldn’t be with my family for that time. Still, to God be the glory.

May wasn’t only about basketball; I also met my amazing partner, Rachel. The way we met was purely divine intervention, and God did his big one. We instantly hit it off and had a lot of challenging conversations about what we’re both looking for and trying to get out of this new relationship. Marriage is the end goal, and the way we’re moving is exactly the way we should be. No distractions, no bullshit; pure and honest communication about our thoughts, fears, and parts of us that still need to be healed. But one of the main things I love about our relationship is our commitment to God and how we keep him in the center of everything and will continue to do so. I love her and am blessed that she’s in my life.

June 2025

Halfway through June, I found myself on my flight back to America. I was ecstatic; I was getting to see my family for an extended period. I haven’t been home in the summer for a few years, and I’ve never had this much time. I planned to enjoy every second of it. Initially, I had plans to do many things, but God told me to rest instead. And so I did.

My days were consistently the same; I’d wake up and either go to the park and shoot or go for a walk to the beach near my parents’ house. I’d then come back and take my mom to work. Following that, I’d come home and spend some time with my grandmas, who were both up from Antigua. Then Rachel and I would hop on the phone later that evening, before she went to bed due to the time difference.

So it was a blessed time at home. I didn’t get to see all of my friends, but I got to see those who meant a lot to me. I was able to see my guy Donnie move into his new crib in CT, and now he only lives a 20-minute drive from my parents’ house. I also saw Nakia and Manny for a few hours at a time, but it was more than enough. Sometimes, that’s all life permits, especially when everyone is navigating the complexities of their lives. But I’m still blessed to have been able to see them all.

I felt so refreshed after having been home for so long. It uplifted my soul so much, and I was able to rest. I had the opportunity to talk with my parents a lot about everything; my dad and I got to shoot some hoops and go out for lunch.

My sister and I had our usual conversations about how we’re building and what we see for our futures. I made my grandmas’ smoothies every day, so they got something healthy in their bodies. I was also able to see my big brother in his element when my dad and I went to a Caribbean event, where I also saw my cousin that I haven’t seen in years. So honestly, I couldn’t have had a better experience at home. God willing, there will be plenty of time to do many other things in the coming years.

July 2025

As my time dwindled down, I found myself not ready to get back into the flow of coaching. Although I was excited for the opportunity to coach AAU, I also knew that it meant my period of rest was almost over. Furthermore, it meant that the following month, I’d be in preseason, and the challenge set before me was coming back to playing a full season.

So some trepidation started setting in, which was natural. But again God told me to relax. It seems like Matthew 6 was the go-to for me this summer because there was so much I could relate to just from that one chapter. Again, in seeking the Lord through prayer and conversation, he gave me another verse:

“Therefore, take no thought about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take thought about the things of itself. Sufficient to the day is the trouble thereof” – Matthew 6:34

While it’s okay to look far ahead sometimes, looking too far ahead can create unnecessary anxiety. The only thing I needed to do was focus on the now, the present moment, and so that’s what I shifted my focus to. Being intentional with each day, seeking God and whatever word he had for me throughout the day, and spending time with him is what I was supposed to do. In doing so, I was able to find the peace that surpasses all understanding. It also helped that I had an amazing woman by my side who prayed over me constantly, even with the distance between us.

I embraced every moment during that week with HRH in AC and Spooky Nook. I developed relationships with the other coaches and adults on the trip (shoutout to Noel, Paul, Steve, Damo and Mary), which was so refreshing; I coached to the best of my ability with the limited voice I had because it still hadn’t recovered from losing it in May. That trip allowed me to reminisce about my AAU days from 14 – 17 (shoutout to the Westchester Hawks); how tough the competition was, and how much time, effort, and sacrifice went into those trips. It was truly a full-circle moment, and I enjoyed it all.

On my way back home, I got a text asking me if I wanted to go to Italy to coach for a week, all expenses paid. I did it last year and enjoyed meeting some of my guys. But I didn’t say yes right away because I wanted to talk about it with the three women in my life who mean a lot to me: my mom, sister, and Rachel. Once they gave me the okay, I said yes. I landed in Dublin on July 19th and flew to Italy on July 21st. After a lengthy travel day, I finally arrived in Limone that night.

The experience was a lot different than last year’s, and that’s okay. The purpose of the trip was to reveal many other things to me, and God surely did. I flew back to Dublin after that week and did a Box Out Academy two-day clinic, which was a lot of fun. The kids, both old and new, did amazing, and I was glad to have put it on after wrestling back and forth again with my coaching fatigue. But, I had to be obedient to God because, again, for me it’s always about helping these kids and giving them an outlet to get better. Money will always be a thing, but it’s not my main thing.

August 2025

August started with a beautiful trip to Milan with Rachel, and we had a great time together. God revealed and confirmed a lot to both of us on that trip, and it was exactly what we needed. We explored, vibed, danced, and got to know each other more through some deep conversations. Truthfully, that week leading up to the trip was our reward for the consistency we showed while I was away in America.

Leaving her to go to Valencia was tough, but God sent me there to test me a bit more. The spiritual warfare was rampant, but God continued to keep me and gave me two more verses to sit with during my time:

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup runneth over.” – Psalm 23:5

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

When we hear or see the word enemy, we immediately think of a person. But that’s not always the case. It can also be a feeling or situation that you’re dealing with. The “enemy,” per se, is the lies that the Devil wants to create about you amid challenging situations; the anxieties he creates to blind you from who God truly is. It’s the way he wants you to get out of character when you do have the right to, but it’s not the Godly way of doing things.

So yes, I was tested and wanted to act out. And I sat with God and lamented on the situation and what all of this was for. I asked him to remove it, and he said, “No.” But it was a gentle no. Going back to that verse from Second Corinthians, his grace was sufficient for me, and he gave me everything I needed to get through. He gave me the strength and a powerful spirit to walk firmly in my purpose and his will for my life, no matter how challenging it got. And for that I give him thanks.

Now, as I sit here, a bit burned out from the last few weeks of going nonstop, with a mountain of tasks ahead of me starting this week, I’m elated. My cup was “empty,” but through my consistency and obedience, he made it run over with his blessings; financially, physically, emotionally, and, more importantly, spiritually. Our relationship is stronger than ever, and I will continue to praise him, both now and forever.

To God be the glory.

Peace and blessings.

CB